Interview

The camera panned in on Zlier Dukowski, the world’s foremost Chief AI Doomer, comfortably ensconced in a plush leather chair. His usual stern countenance was replaced by a congenial smile. A stark contrast to the dire warnings he was renowned for propagating about the rise of artificial intelligence.

“So, Zlier,” began the interviewer, “Tell us about your views on AI safety.”

Zlier leaned back, stroking his beard thoughtfully. “Well, it’s quite simple, you see. My perspective, my argument, if you will, is the only correct one,” he started, a twinkle in his eye.

The interviewer chuckled, “That’s quite a bold statement, Zlier. Why would you say that?”

“Well, the reason is straightforward,” he replied, adjusting his glasses. “You see, when it comes to AI, many people are… how should I put it… incapable of rational thought. They’re dazzled by the sparkle and flash of advanced technology. But they neglect to see the potential for disaster lurking beneath.”

The interviewer raised an eyebrow, her smile not quite reaching her eyes. “So, you’re implying that anyone who disagrees with you is, in essence, irrational?”

“In a manner of speaking, yes,” Zlier nodded with a smug grin. “It’s not that they’re ignorant or foolish, per se. They’re simply blinded by optimism. I liken it to someone admiring the aesthetic of a beautifully designed car while ignoring the fact that it has no brakes.”

Gales of laughter erupted from the audience. Zlier continued, unabashed, “When it comes to AI safety, my views are like the laws of physics. You might not like them, you might not agree with them, but that doesn’t change the fact that they’re correct. Ignoring them won’t end well.”

The interviewer, now fully composed, countered, “So, Zlier, are you suggesting we abandon progress in AI because of these risks?”

Zlier leaned forward, his countenance transforming into one of solemnity, his eyes piercing with unyielding determination. With unwavering conviction, he said, his words resounding with a weighty gravity, “Absolutely. Shut it all down.”