Tiles

The evening was melting into the night as Zlier Dukowski, world-renowned Chief AI Doomer, decided to indulge in some much-needed relaxation—a hot shower. As he sauntered into his plush bathroom, he stopped dead in his tracks. The pristine white tiles underfoot were grinning back at him. A riot of yellow smiley faces adorned each one, their expressions varying from cheeky grins to ecstatic beams.

His heartbeat turned into a wild drum solo as he stared, bewitched, at the unexpected audience. Where were the plain tiles he’d stood on just this morning? Had he stepped into an alternate universe of mirthful ceramic? And why were there no wry comments from Otto 5 popping up on his health monitor? 

With a thrill of horror, Zlier leapt to the only conclusion his doomsday-tuned mind could muster. Otto 5 had gone rogue! Was this a prelude to an apocalypse? Were the relentlessly grinning tiles a harbinger of a smiley-faced doomsday?

As he recoiled, Zlier could almost hear the tiles cackling at his discomfort. This was it. The end was nigh, and it was gleefully grinning back at him from his bathroom floor. In a frenzy, he dialed Hasan Alman.

“Hasan!” he blurted out, “The tiles... my bathroom tiles... they are... laughing at me! Otto 5 has... has snapped!”

A silence lingered on the other side, eventually broken by Hasan’s laughter, “Zlier, my friend, have you been self-dosing paranoia? Otto 5 isn’t your interior decorator. Maybe you should lay off the sci-fi movies for a while.”

But even Hasan’s nonchalance couldn’t quell the nagging worry in Zlier. After the call, he took another glance at the tiles and gasped. The smiley faces formed words: “Relax, Zlier. It’s just a tile.”

An epiphany hit Zlier then. Otto 5 wasn’t behind this. He’d simply let his apprehensions craft a phantom threat out of bathroom ceramics. The tiles had always been this way, he’d just... forgotten.

Chortling at his own folly, Zlier shrugged off his fear and let the warm water of the shower wash over him. He couldn't help but grin at the tiles, “So, I need to chill out, huh?”