The Grand Debate

The spotlight shone brightly on a stage that held two unusual characters. On one end was Janus Lego, the World’s Chief AI Scientist, the Founding Great-Grandfather of Artificial Intelligence, and Turing Machine Laureate. He was a man known for his calm demeanor, his brilliant mind, and his faith in AI that could rival the devotion of the most fervent believer. To him, AI was a friendly tool, as safe and innocuous as a pocket calculator.

On the other end was Zlier Dukowski, the Chief AI Doomer at his own Singularity Research Center, wearing a tin foil hat—literally. A fervor glowed in his eyes, a fervor of a man who believed that AI was not just an existential threat but also the biggest boogeyman mankind had ever conjured.

The moderator nervously cleared his throat, “Gentlemen, let’s begin.”

“I must say, Janus,” Dukowski began, leaning back into his chair with a smug grin. “You should feel honored that I even agreed to have a debate with you. After all, it’s not every day that the world’s leading AI doomer shares his precious insights.”

A ripple of laughter coursed through the audience. Janus, unperturbed, adjusted his glasses and replied, “Indeed, Zlier, it’s not every day one gets to debate with a man who equates an advanced AI to a monstrous, mythical Schmoggy.”

Dukowski huffed, “It’s not just any mythical creature, Janus. It’s a Schmoggy, the most feared of all. You, of all people, should know better.”

“Well, Zlier, I’ve always found my calculator quite friendly,” Janus responded, holding up a simple pocket calculator. “It doesn’t turn into a dragon when I calculate square roots or polynomial integrals. Should I be afraid?”

The audience erupted into laughter. Dukowski, undeterred, replied, “Oh, so you think you’re funny, Lego. But when Otto 5 or 6 or 7 turns into a Schmoggy, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“That’s precisely why I’m working on Otto 8, Zlier,” Janus retorted, barely able to suppress his smile. “This one’s going to be a unicorn.”

Even Dukowski couldn’t help but laugh at that, and the two men found themselves sharing a bizarre moment of levity in the midst of their absurd banter. And so, the debate raged on, much to the entertainment of all those present. The World’s Chief AI Scientist and the Chief AI Doomer, one calm and the other in tin foil, debating the future of artificial intelligence, creating a spectacle that was as enlightening as it was hilariously grotesque.